Typical dialogue between motorbike taxi drivers and I at night in Hanoi (note: the conversation below would usually take 10 seconds from start to finish and would occur as I walked past motorbike drivers propped up against their bikes on street corners, waiting for customers like lazy lions lounging in an open field)Motorbike driver upon seeing me: "Hey! Motorbike?"
Me: "No thanks, I'm walking." (At this point, I usually made a little walking motion with my index and ring fingers just to make my intentions clear. This often had no effect on the ensuing conversation.)
"No motorbike? OK, marijuana? You want? Very good, strong."
"No thanks."
"OK, boom-boom? Girlfriend? Beautiful." (This is when the motorbike driver would usually drive his fist into his palm over and over again to show me what it would be like if I were to have sex with his acquaintance... I guess? It would be like a fist hitting a palm?)
"No thanks."
"OK. Opium. Verrrrry good." (Usually delivered in a faint whisper.)
"No thanks."
I later found out that most motorbike drivers one finds at night in certain parts of the city are simply drug dealers and pimps who use the motorbike gig as a front for their more lucrative pursuits.My questions for you guys and gals reading this are:
What's with the order of offers?
What makes a man who turns down a motorbike ride more likely to buy some pot?
Is a man who doesn't want pot obviously looking for a little love?
And is a man who turns down sex clearly a junkie with a dehydrated libido just looking to score his next fix?
I can only assume there is some logic behind the standard motorbike pitch because, regardless of the driver, I seemed to get offers in the same order: motorbike, pot, sex, opium.
Why didn't I ever hear--motorbike, sex, pot, opium? Or motorbike, opium, sex, pot? Huh? Huh?
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